There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
