I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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