She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
