after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
