he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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