we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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