even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
