Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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