I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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