Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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