There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
