I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize