i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Two words: nipple clamps
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