did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
