Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
