this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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