You made me cry and you don't even care
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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