he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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