when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
