so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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