Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
