bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
