I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
