dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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