Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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