we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
