So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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