May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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