he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize