Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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