There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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