So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
