Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
