I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
