Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
MIDGETS
????
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
