I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
