this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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