Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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