the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
