ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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