Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
