Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
