i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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