Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
only you would photoshop your dick
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
