We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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