Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm just crazy horny about you
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
