Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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