let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
