I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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