what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
