But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
