If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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