You made me cry and you don't even care
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
