when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
