There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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