Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize