I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
