Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
