i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
NoShamevember. You game?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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