chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize