My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
