So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
