i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
