if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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