Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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