he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
